The Soak of the Year

When you look annoyed all the time people think you're busy.

Entire X-Files Story Arch in 500 Words or Less (Intro)

If you’re like me (and you should be, cause I’m awesome) you enjoyed the X-Files.

You tuned into the show’s original run at least one Sunday a month.  You watched it in syndication while slightly inebriated on one substance or another.  You even saw the two movies.  (Although unlike me, when you saw the first movie, two teenagers weren’t having sex in the last row of the Regal Brandywine 16 theater.  Yep.  That’s true.  True story.)

You think David Duchovny is a good actor, even if he is “a bull with many cows“. You think Gillian Anderson is equally good, even if she got her start in soft-core porn.  (You’ll have to search for those links on your own kids.  This is a family site.)

But you’ve always been more than a little confused about the whole alien-Smoking Man-human cataloging story arch.  You know it somehow involves bees and some black liquid that turns into worms.  You know Mulder’s sister was (maybe) abducted by aliens.  You know Mulder and Scully never got it on.  (OR DID THEY?!?!?!)

But the whole crux of the story has eluded you.

This may be because the series left it all deliberately opaque.

But it might simply be because no one ever watched all of the episodes in succession.


The Soak of the Year is halfway through the series.  We are watching only the episodes that pertain to the alien story arch and skipping the “monster of the week” episodes.

We will explain the entire plot, or at least what was revealed of it, in two subsequent posts.  Post one will deal with with Seasons 1-4.  Post two will go all the way to the conclusion of the series.  Even the stuff without Mulder if it’s relevant.  The chronology will be short, simple and succinct.

Yeah, you can probably find this somewhere else on the internet.  But, trust us, most of the synopsis (synopsises, synopsisis, synopsis’ – what the hell is the plural of synopsis?) are super long winded and boring.  This one will be better.

Stay tuned


3 responses to “Entire X-Files Story Arch in 500 Words or Less (Intro)

  1. Some fellow April 5, 2011 at 1:56 am

    should’ve had a link to the softcore. we would’ve gotten more hits.

  2. foxmoldy April 5, 2011 at 8:37 pm

    I like this. It frees me up to watch all of the “monster of the week” episodes. Good luck!

  3. Alex Krycek April 6, 2011 at 12:53 am

    I recommend you make an exception for the ancient deadly glowing tree bugs M.O.T.W. episode.

    Bonus question: Have you ever checked the clock because you think you might be about to experience an alien encounter and the accompanying “lost time”? Follow up question: How many times per day does this happen?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: